fetrolita

rain

2008-11-18T23:32:00.003+08:00

think of me every now and then

i've stopped blogging for a while now,

i've never believed in locking my blogs and,

i never believed i would have people prying so much, it's scary.

just till work is over, or never.

loves.

finale.

2008-09-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

MASSIVE BLOG ENTRY AGAIN.

some of everything since i last blogged.

(the most recent stuffs are at the bottom yo!)

"what are you waiting for, no one's going to show you how."

big words from you, you keep faith in me.

i'm not sure what to call this period of my life. post 19th august has called-on many late nights, many new people, much alcohol, much laughs, endless catch-ups and conference calls, odd jobs here and there and a whole lot of everything that i got robbed off when school took on a 'death' toll on me. i even have time to watch shows online and rent some shows. power or what.

so really,

i've haven't been THIS happy-hyper in a long time.

believe me, all is not fair in love, life and family too, but i am contented with myself. it's a weird carefree surge, somehow, something. i can't put a finger on it.

tonight, i dug out some time to settle pictures to upload on facebook, blog entries and basically, catch up on all things cyber. facebook has been a nag on my laptop, until i downloaded the iphoto uploader.

So people, the pictures will be up soon enough.

And fai, your blazer picture will be the first of many photos i will gladly tag.

hubbba hubba,

i have ranted abit about my musically talented friends and how i admire their amazing skills and talents. if i haven't said it enough then, here goes,

I AM TRULY PROUD OF YOUR GREAT, GREAT, GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS.

Juxtapose are the winners for the Singapore Band Challenge 08.
Sonofa came in second for the same competition.

Juxtapose will be performing in Concert In The Park and everywhere to come!
Sonofa won MTV's Cutting Edge Award.

Juxtapose's Airie won best vocalist.
Sonofa's Yazzit won best bassist.

Dan's getting his EP out soon, and god knows, all my other musically talented friends who never fails to amaze me with their passion.

Just admiring what you guys do best from afar, beats beautiful to me.

Here's just some pictures from the finals of Singapore Band Challenge and the night after at EM Studio.
i'll upload the rest on facebook, so you may copy/paste/tag/untag whichever you want.

And of course, the night Natasha came home and she joined the boys and i, at Em Studio.

Em studio at gallery hotel, is really cosy. i mean, really cosy, live band with the casual sets having features like Airie, Abu and of course, their many talented friend.

belacan.

2008-09-08T00:05:00.001+08:00

valley girl, natasha byer is back home!

we headed to ayam penyek ria at lucky for the ceremonial tradition of eating belacan, chicken, tahu and what-not.

so here's nat, TESTING IT OUT.

(after i don't know how long!)

and here's nat, CAUGHT IN SHEER PEDAS-NESS

but alls well, really.

it's been a funny-good time since she came home and believe me, i sure laughed a hell lot when she was having her dips of the belacan while i was devouring the food.

we talked about everything, spice girls even. it feels nice to know that i don't have to mad-dial when i have some big news. well at least for another 2 weeks.

and you,

i know things have been tough and i wish i could understand what you do and how you do what you do and understand what you are going through in every way so that maybe, just maybe i could make things easy/easier.

but i do know that sometimes, you have got to learn things on your own.
and that's where when somethings happen, you don't just let it happen, you challenge it.
you challenge you.

the walk i took with you, was one i will remember cause it was a day i didn't know what to say to you.
but when i saw you, it ached too much to be leave you with such discomfort.
and it ached even more when it didn't feel like i was making you feel better, i don't know if i did.
and you are not obliged to say i did.

on that note, i'll be here, no matter.
i love you.

dellyfudgejelly.

2008-09-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

i had a tiny little mission set since some time last year in december, 29th. it was when david guetta played at zouk. i wanted to take delcinea out clubbing. I remember calling her to receive the bad news that it was all cancelled and she had just showered and had snuggled into home clothes. she sounded upset. i still don't know how the night got cancelled, cause i was out and about already.

A mission it was,

step one get del drunk/high,

step two take her to 54,

step three make her super happy!

oh boy, mission accomplished. with the help of accomplice, Peter Raj.

he sure felt like a pimp that day!

4 drunks before 2.30am, on a saturday morning.

it was funny, i was mothering all night.

don't even talk about the strange boys, they were nothing.

just play.

just some pictures, more on facebook.

bring on mission impossible already.

haha, on that note, my hp dropped on this eventful night,

it's already sent to nokia for servicing cause the LCD was spoilt.

so, let me know if you have recently changed your no.s

twice.

2008-09-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

another weekend was spent at em studio, celebrating clifton's birthday. clifton's crazy antics has really stuck with me and i can't help but be tickled when i look at the pictures. he's a funny one, and i'm pretty sure he had more than a blast that night. the usual gang was there, and this time nat was sober on her green tea mix. no more stoner that day. funny you.

i think that night, everyone became narcissistic. alcohol induced maybe?

it was nice to just sit around, talk, laugh and enjoy good music.
mindless.

everything is mindless and blissful.
just the way i like it to be.

bitch.

2008-09-06T22:49:00.003+08:00

It's Britney, bitch!

Britney's Back!

just leaked, VMA? tour? new song?

poots 19th.

2008-08-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

FYI,

THERE'S A TOTAL OF FIVE NEW ENTRIES.

backdated entries.

(all in one darn day!)

anyways,

i hereby announce to the world that,

i'm free as a bird, school is over.

call me, date me, everyone!

(well, until i get a decent paying job that is.)

last weekend, it was putri's birthday celebration. celebrations, dinner, wine, beer, laughs and catching up made my day.

kind of forgot how it was to be around sasa, her crazy antics,

i missed vicka and her hair issue/issues.

as much as the night ended rather awkwardly, it was also nice meet fai after, talk for abit and head home in the morning.

i've been missing out on a whole lot of friends, so really, i'm going to catch up with everyone i have solemnly denied and ignored. expect my calls!

back to he subject matter, Putri's mum booked a room at the fairmount swiss hotel. the room was paradise with automated curtains, a bose sound system, an insanely chic toilet and the bestest company one could have ever asked for.

we were overly ambitious, we wanted to have our own photo shoot, we wanted to do this and that, but we ended up rolling around and laughing alot.

so here's us.

(more on facebook, i've come to love this tagging thing. i don't have to upload pictures anymore)

so that's last weekend.

this weekend natasha comes home. how crazy is that!

yays.

ai's 21st.

2008-08-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

airie turned 21!

he sure had a splendid time with close friends and nothing but a great show of love.

everyone was in attendance and i sure had quite abit of fun, apart from the cyclic fact.

a night to remember.

there's really too many pictures... so go to faceboook please.

furama.

2008-08-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

Lau Yi celebrated her 60th at furama.

it was massive, with a splendid buffet, live band, cake, beautiful lounge area.

everyone had a jolly good time dancing and laughing.

definitely a night to remember as we cha-cha-ed to the sound of oldies and boogied to Abba and YMCA.

one of the many gatherings that i will fondly remember.

i was dancing with an old man, in a pink shirt and his name was raymond. eeeee.

sometimes, i forget i am this much chinese.

really.

(wah i look quite fat in some pictures, don't click to enlarge!)

my cousins and uncle.

my aunties, my mum and lau yi in red.

bintan.

2008-08-20T00:33:00.001+08:00

so, i headed to Bintan with the family, grand father and my aunt with her family in tow.

the past, past friday to sunday!

family holidays are always rather awkward seeing that people don't talk to each other around the house, but this time, having my grandfather around, the holiday was actually entertaining.

i have tons of pictures of him doing all sorts of silly stuff at the beach but really, i will spare you the misery of his saggy 80 year old chest and battle scars.

and it left me with an unflattering tanline, thank god my skin is not peeling/bubbling.

it was a good stay there, we stayed in a villa which was beautiful and i sure felt like a VIP cause everywhere we needed to go in the resort, we had to call a buggy and they will pick me up in less than 5 minutes. the villa was furnished for every whim and fancy, utensils, iron, hangers, towels, everything a home needs.

i particularly loved the veranda which overlooked the sea, at its horizon.

the taxis there were massive, they were called 'kijang' and they were those 4 wheel drives massive rides.

Most things there were expensive since they made used of mainly Singapore dollar and their rupiah was pretty heavy too, say an ice cream could cost 5 dollars, yet at the same time a 7.50 heineken in singapore costs 3.50 there.

weather wise, sunny most days!

the beach, was amazing, the water was so clear and shallow, i could literally walk very, very, very, very far out as many visible schools of fishes will trail along hoping to get a bite at my feet and legs. some kind of fish therapy!

most of all, the people there were amazing. they were friendly and just so sincere. it was beautiful to be around such people.

This is BINTAM, with an overload of lil syira.

( DEL, REI, CAROL, NITHA, see the BALLLLL!)

BINTANNNNNNNN.

hasty.

2008-08-20T00:30:00.001+08:00

my ngee ann school days, bus squeezing (okay maybe not yet!), grumpy mondays are over.

i got through 2 and a half years of madness in mass comm.

the last weeks of school were rather hasty and menacing with raging emotions, stress and fiery tempers.

everything happened too quickly, and in that haste, it ended.

i am officially done with exams and i shall await for my results on the 10th i think.

987 internships beckons in mid september.

god knows how excited i am about internship. Mario (Liasons Officer) has been super encouraging with his advice and i seriously believe i will be having a jolly good time during attachment. music and people, bring them all on.

SingTel pitch was one of the most 'interesting' things that happened to me, we worked round the clock, through every hour and i cannot be more proud of what we have done and the number of hours i stayed awake.

Although we didn't win, it meant alot (burnt alot in my pocket too!) and it was in every way, a classy effort by 5 passionate members. Yet, i have to admit, the passion faltered to the end.

Nonetheless, we put on the most charming suits and did what we could to impress SingTel. The irony? We were so drained, we hadn't even captured a kodak moment despite being such blatant camwhores.

God, we collected tons of pictures of each other, in what a month!

the multi-shots were always too funny for everyone.

Here's just some of neon's crazy moment, during our photoshoot and tvc shoot for SingTel.

Here's the print ads that were presented to client, and below the print ads presented at school.

And with that, school came to a clean closure.

special mention goes to members of neon, we're almost nothing without each other aye.

i will miss the laughs.

i guess we should be glad, SingTel is still rewarding us with stuff!

hurrahhh?

fats.

2008-07-31T21:52:00.003+08:00

debb, i love you la.

okay, once school out.

i need to get fit and lose fats.

big time.

beyond you.

2008-07-23T00:38:00.003+08:00

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE TYPEFACE IS LIKE THAT.

I CAN'T SEEM TO CHANGE IT AND I AM TOO LAZY TO RETYPE.

SO BEAR WITH IT, IT LOOKS DISGUSTING, I KNOW.

it has been utterly insane with school, life and work commitments.

the past week.

1) my mum went from not talking to me,to slowly talking to me again.

2) dad showed he cared for me by giving me a lecture on the side effects of redbull, which i have clearly been chugging down my system till my toes go numb.

3) i have stayed awake for 42.5 hours with almost 1 hour sleep in that time.

4) i have clearly not replenished my sleep yet.

5) i have been pushed to my limit when it came to school.

6) i did not even have time to work the past week.

7) i actually have had the best laughs this past week too, with 'burst' and 'chao yang' stories.

8) i miss yana like crazy

9) i am quite broke from paying all the stuff from advert

10) i took a kitten home from school today, apparently, she aka butter/hyena/scarface, was fished out of the pond by some trimedia students. my mum said i could bring her home, so i did but she couldn't get along with the other 2 boys and the cat idea did not sit well with syira.

but the kitty is in a good home with my neighbour. so pretty much will share, share the kitty!

11) my mum took in another baby boy. for 6 weeks. kingston is his name. thai plus eurasian, his mummy threatened to throw him out. GOD, such an bitch. he's 2 month old. super adorable.

let's talk a little about Advert. so final year, final project, actual client. SINGTEL that is.

so we had our internal presentation, and i cannot be more glad to say.

WE MADE IT THROUGH.

we will be presenting to SingTel on the 4th of August, of course, after all the tweaking and major improvements we need to work on.

we need to rebuild our ammo.

i'm just happy what we managed to achieve, so far i've done well for marketing in yr 1, advert in yr 2 and now, seems like it in yr 3 ... so my fashion advertising dream is not just a shroud of clouds aye? proven pfft.

when all this is over, i will probably show you my creative work, which was all completed in 24 hours, wait, less than that.

but here's the red/neon team being such camwhores after the presentation.

the next thing on the agenda is, JUXTAPOSE & SONOFA.

you know i've blogged about them when i do catch them performing.

they are amazing. and if you don't already know, please watch these videos.

though i truly believe that these videos do not do them justice, i still think they are a measure of the many reasons why you should be there to support them,

THIS SATURDAY, 26th, THE ARENA, 4 PM onwards

JUXTAPOSE

SONOFA

i am assured they will be making their smooth entrance to the finals. cause the judges were bowled over by them. standing ovations and songs of nothing but praises. they are hotstuff.

and here's pictures from the preliminary rounds.

goodnight you.

joyce.

2008-07-17T02:33:00.004+08:00

i am stressed beyond words.

raise your hands if you are a final year mcm-er and am not dying?

( i will slap you so nicely know)

crunch time oi!

i'm chugging the all mighty red bull all night, for a few days now.

red bull blended, red bull cubes, what 4 cans in a night, then more in the day.

sugar rush.

just a few more weeks, and i'll back to some form of normality.

i've got quite a few things and pictures to blog about,

but for now,

mass commers have gone mad.

yeow and me are ranting online,

nitha and me were kanchong-ing that day,

shariffa and me were talking rubbish,

now joyce, being random.

save us all.

praisehaven.

2008-07-09T09:18:00.000+08:00

retail theraphy, the ultimate painkiller,

the one that subdues the stress, the fears, the madness.

i didn't want to head home early yesterday, just cause i didn't want to have to face the old man.

he's going on a 3 day fishing trip to batam, till friday. hurmph.

so, i made a detour to, Praisehaven Salvation Army Thrift Store.

i haven't got the chance to drop by there in months though i used to go there quite often and also their main thrift store in serangoon.

activity of the day uh.

shopping all in the name of charity.

the best thing is, the stuff there aren't even used, many of which are still tagged.

i've bought vests, knick knacks, ties, bows, books, files all from there.

this time i got these,

1. ice breaker cards

2. garfield watch holder

the ice breaker cards are so inventive, they total up to about 100 odd cards with all kinds of question that forces people to talk, there were some funny topics in them too.

plus there were special cards like "help cards", "privilege cards", "oops! cards" and "comment cards."

i figured i could bring it around to rescue myself from shy dates!

the garfield watch holder is going to be my new pencil case. just look at it, how cute is that! seriously, i am the ultimate geek with that.

3. vintage bag.

okay this picture does not do the bag justice. it is simply sassy. it is something func decko at far east will probably sell for like 55. but i got it at 15. the compartments are so cute. so old school.

4. a red blazer.

for 5 dollars, this one is amazing, brand new blazer but very thin material so it's not stiff despite the heavily padded shoulders. i'm thinking of getting some gold buttons, some black tassles on the arms, this is probably going to be my project after school is out.

ps- don't mind the camera quality. i'm using my handphone camera today.

on that note, i woke up feeling damn excited,

school is going to be out in a month.

time to dress up and be fancyful again!

sis has bought a gorgeous cole haan bag and i just got a tipi chic bag from ladyboss

and, and, and, i've got like 3 dresses waiting to be worn.

i'll be painting the streets red soon enough.

right now, school, is just insane.

i'm at the edge,

losing sanity and surviving on what seems like 3 hours of sleep each day.

last night, i placed my head down for a snooze and i slept right through on the table till 7.

best part, i cannot move my neck.

truly, a robot.

cannot.

2008-07-08T06:56:00.004+08:00

dolce & gabbana

fall/winter 08

it's the time already, the high ends doing their reveal.

credits to, foto decadent

there is something so mad about d&g that inspires me.

the colours, the feel, everything.

yesterday, was fulfilling, first ESPN then, p fest aye.

ESPN's office, is amazingly stylish even in the midst of all the renovations.

the reception itself was conceptionalized with elements of a basketball courts, flashing lights and many plasmas all over.

glen connely was great showing us around and explaining how things work.

apart from the fact that their studio looked like a spaceship, things that we have at school are not horribly that different.

glen ended off with many wise words,

about mass comm, about experiences, about chasing dreams.

much of which, sank in to me.

as for pete, he got a taste of the future,

being in ESPN's hot seat, meeting people,

you know, i really can see you there.

as for the conversations after,

just hearing peter and prashant share their dreams,

their heartening aspirations, their "i want to be....",

made me aww inside.

(i'm going through my soft weeks aye, the inner vulnerability seething out)

call me dumb, weird, whatever,

i grew up around people and seem to still be around a bunch of people,

who didn't care or stop to think about what they want to do in the future,

even if they did or think or say they did they,

didn't see the urgency to work towards it,

didn't feel or have the desire to be knowledgeable,

didn't truly love or are passionate for what they are doing,

many end up just taking the easy way out,

say, by going for what i call brainless and bimbotic jobs.

while others, just do what they have to and get blown by the winds.

i grew up with a highly contradicting and hypocritical family (parents more accurately),

which functions in a double backward-reverse manner.

so really, i'm still not used to two worlds,

meeting at weird junctures of my life.

i think being in mass comm,

i've truly met and got to know such a great diverse bunch of people,

who make for the best life stories.

my eyes are wide open now.

the thought is crazy,

it is week thirteen now of our 5th semester,

half of us mass commers will be done with school, lessons proper and exams in a month,

A MONTH.

come september 15, i will pack my bags for internship at 987fm for 5 months

rei with the foodie mag, del with probably sph,

caroline, kian, yeow at big ass types advertising company, ogilvy, bates and satchi i think.

peter, ruiming, hui tze are headed off to hong kong for business traveller and south china post.

i've been hearing of some other amazing internships here and there.

think about it,

the next time we will be gathered again, will be graduation day

in our classy attires under the not so classy blue robes.

can you just imagine that?

can you?

words.

2008-07-06T02:34:00.003+08:00

what law, what reason can deny that gift so sweet,

so natural that God has given a stream, a fish, a beast, a bird?

K

2008-07-06T02:22:00.002+08:00

and i thought, fuzzy logic was complicated.

you are too.

so shall we?

boys.

2008-07-06T02:01:00.000+08:00

asanul & sharul,

i really miss you guys.

the guys that make me so happy whenever i'm with them,

doing the silliest things ever,

the teasing, the 'spotting' and all the counting.

you showed me you cared that night despite everything and i'm keeping my distance, cause we both know it's best.

while you, texting me the sweetest words knowing that things are different now, yet it still feels the same somehow.

god, i want to turn back time.

sonofa.

2008-06-24T12:15:00.001+08:00

Friday night, Project Sonofa was awesome. Well i was surely blown away, what more anyone else who was there. Kudos, Kudos, Kudos!

There, the massive stage bursting with energy.

and

Here's the many happy people caught on camera.

That night was really quite funny for me, having a little breather from the hospital was nice. Everyone was there, the boys, ai's parents, haha the BT boys (i shall rmbr my no ai/fai moments with them! they are funny.), putri, sidd and sufi came by too, and they brought along lovely darling SHIRIN. i miss being overly kooky like during secondary school days.

Been busy, driving/school/studio/hospital, save me really.

The lil one is still in the hospital, viral and chest infection and asthma.

She's in bad shape, keep praying please.

eeny.

2008-06-19T00:33:00.001+08:00

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch a tiger by the toe
If he hollers let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

bangs

2008-06-15T19:30:00.000+08:00

to err is human (on that note),

it's father's day today,

my father came tumbling when the wooder chair he sat on broke into two. yes TWO.

the same father, who cannot go through the gates unless he walks out sideways.

people, just imagine how happy i was.

i could barely curb my sinister laugh.

call me mean, but no one can actually understand the hatred i feel for my father. so be it.

i simply have to remember this day in history.

that's something old (family issues),

(i don't know why i find this that big a deal,

but it is to me. i am such a hair person.)

this is something new.

so hello to bangs, which still itch like a monkey's ass.

(and hello world, i am on facebook after eons of " i lazy la")

(credits to kidd, who thinks she's the best for snapping this picture so candidly, when i don't even remember what i was doing or what i was staring so intently at)

i haven had bangs since this.

since i was sixteen, naive and such a truly, happy kid.

well the bangs then we blunt and nothing nice.

and with the new bangs, comes a series of brenda song lookalike pictures.

i scare myself nuts when i look at them, but here's some.

oh and they also bring a slew of unwanted centre-parting bangs shots.

laugh ya'll, it truly is amusing.

sometimes the bangs looks great, sometimes it looks like a seasoned broom.

it looks better in person, that's a yes.

in pictures, i look like a freaking flat prata.

well, bangs story is over.

and as you can clearly see, i have gained weight, i have extra flabby arms, thighs and face.

and as of now, i have 4 fuckin pimples on my face.

save me from myself really.

this is depressing, school, driving, odd jobs is draining.

gahhh. good bye

anyone keen for a job between 23rd June to 6th July at Isetan, Parkway Parade.

contact me, asap.

nineteen.

2008-05-25T17:00:00.004+08:00

nineteen was supposed to be big.

there was the bidding for a bungalow, plans for a cocktail party, more partying, more boys,

more fancy dresses to sashay in, new shoes to strut in.

then, there were the infinite dates with the ever so special people in my life,

infact, people included anyone who wanted to celebrate nineteen with me, anyone who happened to be around me or once knew me.

oh not to forget, the people from my harrowed past, whom i in the end chickened out from meeting.

so you see, nineteen was supposed to be big.

boy, nineteen turned out TOO big.

like some grand 2 week festival which somehow, didn't see an ending.

prashant once said, "ehk your life like reality show!'

i'm still amazed cause you guys, all my friends, everyone, did so much for me.

the calls, the texts, the dates, the emails, the ice creams, the planning, the nights, the days

again and again,

i THANK YOU all, for every little thing.

here's everything that has happened, about birthday or not, with photos or not,

i'm going to try write a little something about them.

god, let me recall every thing said and done.

Labrador, labour day

i was at my crankiest but thanks to yana, coffee, singing and people watching at starbucks.

new friends makes for good time, old places makes for reminiscing.

new, i mean taufiq and ahmad.

old, i mean labrador and the shrunken maze.

car rides and karaoke i tell you, the amsterdam, macs, leisure park, being with the bestfriend, spooking people at such ungodly hours.

Muthu's Curry

the celebrations started early on the 3rd, the bestest indian cuisine i have ever had followed by amazing cedele cake with the cutest candles, and ben and jerry's too.

thanks to putri's mum and everyone!

888

shashi, boy, ariff, nana, ain, zul

"kechik, you betul baik, kawan with kiter budak bodoh. inspiration ah beb, fuh."

you guys, are really nigga la.

the beer, the impromptu cake made out of chocolate muffins (tits) and chilli sauce (thong and navel) btw, the laughters, the joy rides and oh, the chicken wings.

thanks for not sabo-ing me this year, those bus-top attacks had to stop.

we are big kids now.

Kidd's Makan-Makan Night

for the record, you cannot cook. if you cook, only your fiance can eat.

but that night, pasta was not bad.

where you order? heh.

you always make me smile with the most caring things you do. it always feels like home with you around.

Ice Skating

peter and prashant saw me at my lowest know, bouncing off ice never felt better.

let's just say first time on roller blades, was luck.

first time on ice skates, shaky but a whole lot of fun.

i think you can already tell how happy i was.

Omnimax

caught the show on Egypt, return of the pharaohs,

with peter and prashant.

it was amazing, i couldn't quite keep my mouth shut.

the show was all over me, left, right, centre, everywhere la.

being in that dome, damn cool.

omnimax needs to be the new movie theatre.

Star Gazing?

" i found you, you're the brightest star, but tiny tau"

carpark trips, cookie cake, piggy rides, takeouts,

thanks for risking your relationship for me. heh.

you shall not be named here.

Vicka's 19th

darling got a surprise party at marche!

sorry i had to scoot off to attend my own party but i am glad you had an amazing night.

M.O.S

like the old days, margaritas at cafe iguana.

god, how many people were there, including pete's posse.

prashant took some amazing photos.

really, a night of to remember.

Ryaan, teh tarik satu.

i'll bring a thermos the next time we have a teh tarik date,

spilling hot tea on the seat and on thighs is not funny. it happened twice!

you speedy gonzalez, thanks for coming back as a friend.

Suicide Alley

i saved the best for last, sort of.

i had so much fun with you, Debbie Khoo.

my bestfriend since i was what 7?

you made me scurry my way unsuspectingly to find...a night picnic awaiting.

the yellow balloon, the ljs, the sights, the party stuff, the oj, the flowery mat, the tattoos, everything was simple so special, i really was crying inside.

" sarah is a small girl with a big heart, debbie is a big girl with a small heart"

i love you girl. thank you.

Abu's Party

falling asleep on buses and waking up at kallang is too scary to comprehend when you've got no cash and your hp is dead.

but it was a power nap, that lasted me the unintended night.

well, i found my way to copthorne kings and i found airie at the lobby, thank god!

the boys are all really too funny with their antics, everyone really!

how many people were there in the room? 10, by the end of the night

zouk, in slippers felt weird and highly underdressed,

thank god i was very high and quite mad,

you see, if i wasn't,

it'd be a waste to have me around.

thank you,

for amazing

'everythings, everytimes'.

heh.

boy.

2008-04-28T23:05:00.002+08:00

as it seems, things are looking up, what more with the radio award, dad (sort of), school and nice conversations with friends.

believe me when i say, these things just don't last.

that's life.

asi es la vida.

i like how you don't try to impress me,

you are different that way.

but really, i'm scared.

uno.

2008-04-28T22:20:00.001+08:00

in the wise words of peter, this one how.

cake good.

cake power one.

SYIRA turned one.

(well, in actual fact today, but we celebrated it yesterday!)

just look, she cannot be happier with the gifts, food and everyone who came and sang happy songs with her.

thank you, thank you,

to everyone who came.

really

year three.

2008-04-18T18:37:00.001+08:00

april 14, first day of school after 2 crazy weekends and of course,

months of too much booze, too much loving, too many kind souls, too much memories,

not to mention the insomnia stricken nights and depressive hours pondering over 'what should have been' , 'what if', 'if i could', 'why' and other lingering and unanswered questions.

some days it was as if, the sleepwalk never ends.

then there was work, times spent with friends and more.

but like any other holiday, it was same ol, same ol.

and now... without much realization, week 1 of year 3 is done and over with. there's school work, there's things to think about, CREATIVE, ZANY juices to rake up, countless thing i want to read up on...

so little time, so much to do.

first day of school was intimidating in every sense i think about it. Part of me is ever ready to take on the brand new semester, while the other part of me is just doubting myself.

had advanced advertising today, and the client is Singtel. i was hoping for something a little more funky, but too bad. i shall make Singtel funky! can't wait for client briefing then all the ideas will start racing.

then there was television journalism and the whole, being in-the-know issue. the lecturer intimidates me just cause he is THE MAN in the industry. one of those ang moh who talk so perfectly that if you don't keep up with his words, you'd lose track of everything.

radio pro with yoka is really fun. but i have a classmate who annoys me with his subtle bragging or should i say presence even, he should be grateful i keep my mouth sealed about his lousyness.

med law is a mouthful with selvaraj. he is like a military man and his lesson are like alil detention but very interesting too.it's funny how i once wanted to be a lawyer, well, well, not anymore.

IS was rather fun too... i am in EFFECTIVE PEOPLE MANAGEMENT class and the other one is WORLD ISSUES. both class lecturers were fun and at least not dying species.

now let's back date a little.

i finally met christine, she came by work to talk and spend time with me. it was nice, really. she drops by once in awhile. she's a darling! this tiny terror passed her driving recently! yays. she's like all one time tp kind... she's getting her 2a soon. TINY TERROR i say.

prashant is home from his europe trip bearing adorable gifts and a greasy head of hair which i have yet to give a final word on. he got me a handmade venetian mask, antique make-up case, world war 2 postcard i think and a pair of a toddler's ballet-like shoes. thank you, thank you, thank you.

my dad is still being an ass and now he's got diabetics too. gah! thought god was suppose to keep him healthy, all that praying didn't help aye.

there's so many things i want to blog about.. grrr. but i don't have very much time on my hands.

here's some random pictures from the past 2 weekends.

RANDOM I SAY.

i'm not captioning it as i'm too lazy to blog about the whole clubbing thing and the boy issue.

i've told everyone that needs to know already actually. heh.

and this is yana. with her mohawk. after weeks of persuasion, finally!!! she looked darn hell good. the stares she gets.. tsk tsk... crazy or what.

the end.

asi es la vida

cristine.

2008-04-04T16:24:00.000+08:00

just knowing i was going to be seeing you next week made me smile all night.

i've missed you, christine.

chris frown.

2008-04-04T15:48:00.005+08:00

chris brown makes me frown, really.

watch and cringe in your seat at how uncomfortable his crotch thrusts and ripples make you feel.

i could purge.

no way, he's stealing the crown from usher.

not at this rate.

fool's gold.

2008-04-02T01:36:00.003+08:00

april 1st 2008, has been such an odd, odd day for me.

1) i opened the letter box and there was a letter addressed to my late grandma. after 7 years, the thought of her still makes me tear

2) too much flirting with words, really!

me > goodnight bat, come down and play sometime

him > no one's luring me down with fruits. don't think i'm going anywhere, high seems good

me > you're not looking low enough

him > don't be a tease, goodnight keeper

3) online convos with new yet interesting people.

english speaking people, with apparent wit and something quite different yet i cannot put a name/finger to it. 2 in a day is just too weird. who's doing this set up?

4) the whole test drive of cars from the nissan showroom, too bad the roadster was test-able.

5) more weird convos like;

choke slamming putri online with the hiak dish and ice in tow,

being explained what an ambigram is when i already know what it is,

talking about eating grapes 3 times in a day, with 3 different people,

there was mike and ben convos which was damn dumb,

the whole guetta and g&d issue again,

call from friend's gf even,

and of course,

melissa showing me this, after fai said that he would bring home his firemen suit for me to try.

this is really, one of the many reasons why i so love melissa lim yi wen!

i miss the days when we did silly things together like imitate mr anthony, run around camwhore, sing solitaire or any song to our fancy.

well sasa, mr punithen did have an effect on you aye?

you should have went... "oh - ling - ling" then duck under...

what else?

other than that, sometime last week, i became a dresser for so far, one show for this year's Fashion Festival. Did the GRI show which showcased clothes from Anne Klein, EQ:IQ and shoes and bags from AK, Nine West, J.Lo, Jessica Simpson and more.

it was damn fun, seeing models, sneaking a peek at hair and make-up, seeing ashley isham and his creations, seeing denise keller again with her thick make-up, listened to accents being thrown so carelessly and blindly, watched a model get scolded for being late (who says one can be fashionably late?), watched how the model i dressed named nataliya didn't even say thank you, and seeing male models around for the robinson's show

no pictures, cause no photography...

basically, just soaking the atmosphere made me insanely excited.

wished i could do more shows, maybe next year.

god bless, really.

cranberries.

2008-04-01T04:57:00.003+08:00

just one of the many reasons why I should not have straight hair!

it's April's Fool day today.

have a good one you pranksters.

i can't sleep for nuts, or in this case cranberries.

did you know.

Cranberries contain natural compounds called proanthocyanidins that reduce the ability of E. coli bacteria to adhere to the walls of urinary tract and help maintain urinary tract health.

now you know.

tug of war.

2008-03-25T02:25:00.004+08:00

on a quick note,

the boy i am crazily attracted to, should quit playing tug of war with me,

cause god sure is already playing his lucky cards these weeks with his endless game of tug of war with me.

2, is an overdose.

And since you've been asking...

1) results for yr 2 sem 2 were the best in my entire mass comm history thus far. i got 1 AD, 1 A and the Bs and Cs of course. i guess i was quite pleased with it, but as i always, always say, i could have done better.

2) i also managed to secure the electives that i want for Yr 3. They are, Advertising, Radio Pro and Television Journalism. As far as i know, these are the people i will be seeing in tut class or lecture.

advertising - del, rei, peter, kim

radio pro - del, rei, tim, shariffa,

tele journ - peter, shant, shariffa,

medlaw - naj, kim, shariffa,

masina - naj, kim,

IS - tim, mona, kim and me and yes shant too, pretty much would probably want to be in the class so its appreciating artwork/ethical dilemma for us.

We'll i'm sure there are many others and then we'll watch the groups cloister and isolate in just the first week. Quite typical of Mass Commers of the class 2009!

The previous sem has been good to me cause it gave good team mates.

So, hey ho to semester 5! i will be on my quest of ridding myself of excess baggage aka team mates. I warn, I warn, if you want to be with me, you better be able to carry your own weight, i don't promise to be nice.

3) Lush Closet is the name of the shop in which i am working in. it is located at far east plaza lvl 3-42 shop 12. it is one of those 50 square ft shops that is tiny and doesn't quite have that many customers at all. they sell a dizzy mix of accessories, dresses, tees, shorts, not many of which are to my taste even. But, i will promote them anyway! whole-heartedly!

as work, i do simple, light weight stuff like accounts, inventory work, replenishing, store keeping. basically, nothing that requires much/any work at all. easy 5 bucks per hour!

please drop by if you are in the town area yea! bring a cookie or coffee! hehe

Apart from that my boss, fifi is extremely kind, understanding and nice. oh, i am officially a key holder and believe it or not, i actually had a great time being alone in the shop, i am usually alone!

To the left of Lush Closet is May Style, which is co-owned by Grace, and well i've known her for year, imagine how chatty we would be.

And to the right of Lush Closet, is a very nicely themed vintage shop named Green Petals and on some days and night, Jennifer works there. Jennifer from SIM, my new, sassy friend made in day 1 of work, we talked and laughed quite abit during work and even went home together since she stayed in woodlands. Quite funny, how much we connected and yakked away. The other girls from the rest of the shops were nice too. They offered snack and made small talk and generously smiled when we made eye contact. All good!

i get to people watch and yes, sometimes one or two cute guys stroll in.

i don't work everyday, the schedule is rather sporadic for now. i start at 1pm, so i still get to sleep in. All good stuff you think, it gets better!

there is MTV showing just outside the shop. everyone i know would probably know of my great, great interest in becoming an MTV VJ someday, therefore i have a major tendency to hijack any friend's SCV-abled television and couch. I will turn MTV on and be adrenalized. god knows, where i hide the remote sometimes.

work is bliss.

4) prashant called today from prague. i haven't heard his voice since march 3rd.

He says HI HELLO to all.

he sounds so, so, so happy and i am so happy for him too! he told me how functional the letter i packed for him were and it made me really, really glad. he'll be heading to berlin soon, and then amsterdam then back to singapore.

God, i miss him!

5) yana's friend from HMV says that JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is coming to singapore in june/july. i cannot be happier to hear this piece of news. JT concert is one concert i will starve for. Start saving people, even if he doesn't come, saving will do everyone good!

6) and i might just have to give up the SFF volunteer stint, just cause of work. so i don't know anything yet. will reconfirm and update! :) i was looking forward much to the whole thing, it excites me more than you can imagine!

7) i have yet to catch step up 2! grrr.

8) HAPPY 19th to ISHA and ASANUL !

two very gorgeous and special people in my life. have a good one!

okay thanks bye,

now you know.

introspect.

2008-03-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

I'm through with doubt and there's really nothing much that needs figuring out these days.

Cause, i am numb and i already quit believing that things will change,

I just get over them, in time.

So,

push me, i won't fall.

hurt me, i will heal.

You know,

the only place i travel to, is to johor bahru,

the only things i see, are the things i have seen before,

the only food i eat, is what i can afford,

the only gifts i bear are those made from paper, made in my kitchen or my sweet offer of time,

and i can't blame what i was born into or the circumstance i walk into.

i think it's time i be more in control and i made a vow, to never, ever be this broke again.

not in this lifetime. nyeh.

today's quiet introspection proved it's worth by the end of the night or should i say, morning.

sexy.

2008-03-24T22:52:00.009+08:00

when i look into your eyes, i can see a love restrained

but darling when i hold you, don't you know i feel the same

'cause nothing last forever, and we both know hearts can change

and it's hard to hold a candle, in the cold November rain

we've been through this such a long long time,

just trying to kill the pain

but lovers always come and lovers always go,

and no one's really sure who's letting go today

walking away, if we could take the time to lay it on the line

i could rest my head, just knowing that you were mine, all mine

so if you want to love me, then darling don't refrain

Or i'll just end up walking, in the cold November rain

smarty pants

2008-03-20T12:20:00.002+08:00

(this entry is just cause both train passengers on the left and right of me were using nokia smart phones and they were emailing away to my envious eyes.)

you know right.

i've always wanted one of these.

smart (fat!) phones with like the mini keyboards.

i always seem to have the need to email 24/7 and of course, surf the net.

(that is in order of preference!)

i will not be able afford one any time soon.

so good god,

let me accidentally find one somewhere.

chuckles.

finders keepers losers weepers

sleepwalking.

2008-03-13T21:42:00.008+08:00

you know, it is the little things that i do that disgust myself these days.

thought long about you today and i was certain you'd be cross with me if you knew.

so let's just play hide without the seek for awhile more.

i've been okay.

(proud to say that!)

it has been pretty cold in this supposedly sunny island. unusually cold weather brought about by the pacific winds said the ST... so these brr-brr days are here to stay.

hallelujah, cause it calls for the boots, scarves and those layers. i love!

the little things i have been praying so hard for seem to be slowly taking form.

update:

i just saw my brother sleeping at 12.30 am. all wrapped up in the comforter with an alarm clock by his ear.

it's funny, he is never committed to work (tmr is his second day of work proper as a car jockey).

he's starting to learn the ropes of something i call responsibility.... he cleaned his room today on his own... just the little things that make so much difference.

i'm counting my blessings tonight..

and i've been pretty back-dated with this blog.

A lot has been happening, there's the job searching, the wild affairs, the wars, and i have quite a bit of pictures to post up.

i've got a job that can take me into the school semester. :)

let's quit the talk.

Peter's 19th

3rd March

it was definitely a fun, fun affair that involved food, friends and rain. oh, we all played sports like soccer, volley/takraw and of course the water games. include the many, many girly screams from me and candice.

but when i got home, i was really smiling.

i had such an enjoyable day and i hope you did too pete!

on the monorail, virgin experience for pete, tim and dan too!

pete's big package, lol.

see those boobs.

the wonder, he can balance a toothpick with his thick and long eyelashes.

the signature birthday smile!

Yana's Bro's Engagement

there's always lots of love and warmth being around yana's family and being there felt really nice. just some random pictures.

yana's family!

her bro and sister in law to be!

damn cute.

and of course, us!

i miss prashant! i miss his 'check on you' calls.

11 hours to results..

will blog again sometime soon.

till then.

wishful?

2008-02-27T06:43:00.004+08:00

girls, we'll have it good some day aye?

some day, we'll be able to jet off to wherever we want to and stroll down any place we want.

oh and definitely dress like we own the universe, no matter the season.

thing is, one of us needs to:

marry a dying gazillionaire
invent the cure for Aids
become as famous as britney spears
be a pornstar maybe?

i know i've not been in the best of moods or best of anything for that matter, haven't looked out for some of you as much as i usually do.

like how we say it, ' we get burnt sometimes ',

but ~~we'll~~ i'll be better, somehow.

just, just disoriented.

update:

lil syirah is in the hospital since tuesday, i'm on graveyard shifts!

so call me friends...

the symphony of other wailing babies drives me up the wall plus bed bottoms gives me the shivers.

(thanks to those who came to visit...)

ps - you just care too little to know much, so i'd rather not be near you at all.

nothing

2008-02-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

3rd entry today

my brother decided not to sign on for ten years in the army.

he got a job in some pest control company instead.

i don't know if i should be happy for him or not.

no big paycheck, means what for me...

no army job, means what for him...

just why is it that i find myself incapable of making simple decisions nowadays?

and i can barely even sleep.

chett.

better.

2008-02-25T23:22:00.005+08:00

(on a happier note)

How about some easy-peasy maths now!

CREAM

PUFFS

CREAM PUFFS

Fat and creamy ones, lovingly made.

I haven't baked cream puffs since 2 Christmas ago, believe that!

Made only about 70 pieces and there is less than 20 left in the fridge right now.

Mum says i should start a shop.

I say, i should master the art of bakery a little more.

And i need to learn how to make coloured icing properly.

Next on the baking list are,

2 decorated brownie cakes for Yana's brother's engagement, i'm thinking major colours for that
chocolate eclairs just cause i want to eat them and can't afford buying them and still not being satisfied

To those who come to my house often...

spot the difference!

this is the desk where all the after midnight magic happens!

if you still haven't noticed, this this!

Mum dug out some old radio which was actually still working.

(the siamese was a sweet gift from yana!)

Finally, i have a working radio on my table so that i can :

listen to lush fm!
tune in to muttons on 987
get annoyed at the non-stop talking malay djs, really!

and Mum paid forward for my new sneakers.

Jack Purcell, in a stunning ivory colour

(i have to pay her back though, i just told her that i need it since i threw away quite a few of my cheap sneaks.)

:( still no job call-backs!

grumpotato

2008-02-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

I Am A Fucking Grumpy Ranter.

Hear me roar.

Grunts.

saturday

just when i had one good day, i found out that my btt was cancelled. (upset know, i have major issues with this whole driving thing thanks to the 'holy father'. ) It was cancelled cause i had no idea i had to complete my evaluation 14 days prior to test date. (is that something everyone is supposed to know or what?)

Why, that fact was not made known to me at all nor on any part of any informative literature given to me. I only found out after i called and read the FAQ, which isn't mandatory reading anyway.

officially, my btt on 25 feb was cancelled without my knowledge.

and i have just booked a new btt on 24 april.

so 24 april indeed before i can have pracs.

hallelujah!

(maybe that is just god's way of saying, you have no money to continue even. face reality.)

i wrote an aptly long and sarcastice suggestion/complain and emailed it over to the feedback channel in bbdc.

quite garang/fierce la.

monday.

An email came to me from a Senior Customer Relation Officer and she requested for my NRIC no. so that she can get back to me

So, i replied. (nicely this time!)

monday night.

David from the driving centre called to inform me that i should have found out about the 14 day thing during my first theory class.

I told him that in that class the instructor told too much stories and even he admitted that he needed to rush through certain slides.

Hence, it could be evident that he may have skipped the oh-so important 14 day rule.

In that case David initiated that they could monitor my account and as soon as there is an earlier BTT slot, then it shall be made mine. Thus, i emailed him my account password and courteously said thank you for his prompt and initiated response.

moral of the story.

well done siti sarah.

perfect PR-ing on bbdc's part.

exemplary kiasu-ism on mine?

hah.

life's still being such a bitch.

the foul mood is definitely here to stay.

good night.

bold?

2008-02-23T01:17:00.001+08:00

today, today, today

(i'm feeling this center alignment and rounded edges these days!)

syira's spanking new yet ol'school red shoes!

an amazing little steal for $3.90 at Holland V.

i can't wait to see her wear them and hobble her way around.

she's a strong one, she will be 10 months old on the 28th.

and she is already steady standing while she props her chunky-munky body up.

such an odd day, running errands and doing things.

first up was appointment at mcys, then town for lunch and browsing around with my mum and sisters in tow.

bumped into HANNAH AND YVONNE, dolls of nra.

i miss dancing like mad. mad, i say.

in fact, i miss the dolls and our crazy antics.

i saw them dressed up and doing a little shopping before training.

they were all dressed up in what i call nra gear.

i miss all of that.

all.

fuzzy, dune, hannah, yvonne, choy.

i have our pictures on my red wall, and i can't help but admire you guys!

how do you do it... school and training is insane for me.

if only i was that driven and passionate.

i take my hats off to you. the most passionate, talented, loving bunch of girls.

ye hear me?

bumped into shaza nasheha too.

classmate from st marg's and now in MI.

she lost so, so much weight and looks great!

good, ol' times.

reunion sometime monkey/tmnt?

then holland v.

i haven't browsed around holland v in the longest time!

and today i was quite impressed by the stuff they got there.

an eccentric mix of all things boho, ol' school departmental stores, cute kiddie stuff and more.

my sis and mum's first time walking around.

well, that place sure has alot to offer.

at night that is.

while i was there, i bumped into ariel wee.

she was with her husband looking at wedding bands at some quaint little jewellery shop.

damn cute la, she was so, so, so warm and as bubbly as ever when i approached her.

(you know how some lecturers turn unfriendly when you see them outside. she is not even close to that, she hello-ed and good bye-ed my mum and sisters.)

fav, fav, fav lecturer, she's quirky and a whole lot of fun.

plus she gave me straight As.

what's not to love.

okay, really, she is amazing.

and seeing her definitely made me pretty happy.

yesterdays, yesterdays, yesterdays.

(got the room to myself for a night and therefore... the camwhoring and funny and odd photoshopping ensued.)

now that reminds me!

sassy isha aka trish has got this uber, new blog going on in which they feature the-gorgeous in sunny singapore.

the modern, people lookbook i say!

i got featured too actually. haha. thanks babe.

i am complimented enough already by you, i'm obviously beyond flattered.

thank you.

since i said i would, here is the website.

bookmark this yo!

why, it might just be you featured there!

quick ones

exams are so over! that marks the end of year 2! the first paper was easy-p while the second was do-able yet smoky.

year 3 electives ranked! hate the thought of all the scheming and what i call strategic planning just so i can get the modules that i'd love. fingers and toes crossed for Adv Advertising, Adv Radio Production & TV Journalism. cross em'!

art and craft day with yana on wednesday was aptly messy. this girlfriend of mine is an angel! we had good fun, pasting, cutting stuff up, decorating gifts. basically, putting our nifty fingers to good use. oh, and then we indulged. thanks to cheesecakes that were "insane or what" and we spent the rest of the night at mac's indulging in "twister" fries after we cumulatively pulled our resources. haha. we even dressed alike know! our next project would be baking and decorating for her bro's engagement. i've got a major idea for that and i'm not sharing just yet. xoxo

apparently, still no call-backs from any retail company. drought or what?

i am so broke i have outstanding debts and overdue celebratory dates with the february babies. if only apologising profusely could make me feel less guilty. bear with me a little while longer, will you please.

i finally gathered the last pennies i've got and mailed nat her birthday gift. i actually feel so excited after doing that, god knows why. am i suppose to be the one this excited?

i had a freaky run-in with an "err" ex that day while getting my coffee fix. he served me my iced vanilla latte! thank god he too played pretence! i was such a naive little girl in the past. i think so was he, cause he pulled a suicide attempt on me. it still baffles me la. honestly.

i haven't been sleeping much these nights. the insomnia cannot return cause i do not wish to get over another round of insane e.d.s.

last night, got to sent prashant off at the airport, as he embarks on his to-be crazy adventure to all the beautiful places in the world, alone too! really. london, berlin, paris, vienna, venice, amsterdam, rome, prague. kim, dan, peter were there too. it was a good last hour spent laughing with one another, like it used to be. the goodbye at the gates was nothing teary but hilarious actually. something to remember.(i should have taken a picture! darn, i guess we shall just have to wait for shant's camera shots) i am seriously going to miss that guy a hell lot. god knows my endless prayers for his safety. i packed him a set of letters and a party pack in ribbons and all... and i made his swear to not open it till he is onboard the plane. when he finally did, he texted me to tell me that he loves me and that he was crying. touched maybe? still, bon voyage pee wee!

there's b.t.t on monday and my happy trips to bbdc before it comes to yet another uncalled for halt.

and in case you are expecting me to talk about issues at home... nah, just not today.

now. let's end on a happy note.

good night.

dayum you're fine

2008-02-17T14:14:00.001+08:00

hot or what.

(just a happy little find while i was on a study break! oh i'm playing all the gay music right now. it's funneh.)

one paper down, one more to go.

just V

2008-02-12T14:50:00.000+08:00

OKAY.

writers strike over!

thank god,

but have you read about the insanely endless conditions?

i need gossip girls and heroes to return already!

grammys!

amy winehouse, rihanna, justin timberlake.. all winners!

if you have yet to catch this, please do.

(youtube is an ass, despite changing the width of this video, it still floods the other side! hence, please pardon the unsightlyness.)

and this!

i'm pretty tired of asking around for jobs. it's always difficult to work part time during non-sales period, in retail i mean.

seriously, if i do not get a job by monday. i would declare myself a useless booger.

it is that depressing.

it helps too that i'm a lil picky.

1) salary has got to be six bucks or more

2) there is no way i am working under wingtai or any boutique that looks like a pasar malam store or sells clothes that i think are frumpy-yucky.

3) i am still avoiding going back to FJ Benjamin, but last case, i will call and do admin work with them.

4) and i cannot see myself doing any other job but boutique sales assistant

i've went to ed hardy, miss sixty, miss selfridge, gstar raw, bebe, bread and butter, karen millen, aldo, club marc, tommy, armani and almost every other store under club 21.

i have just sent club 21 my resume, so please, please, please hope for me that i get a call from them soon.

my monday was pretty awesome right till i got home.

home turns my mood sour every time, you know that already.

i got all dressed for job seeking, interviews, theory lesson and what nots yesterday.

i haven't put my dancing feet to use in months, so salsa was the icing for what should have been a totally awesome day and night.

vday is coming and it's always with the girls each year.

that's just cause shafiq and i detest the thought of remembering/commemorating/enhancing/celebrating (whatever applies to you yea!) LOVE on just one so-called special day.

i never found carrying bouquets, teddy bears, chocolate flowers and all that lovey knick knacks, fascinating or anywhere near romantic. it was tried and tested even.

well for the happily oblivious souls, maybe you would like to read this.

be enriched here

debate with me your reasons if you wish, you will still fail to convince me.

and definitely fall right into my annoying list.

call me hypocrite!

i do help friends plan and plot your vday celebrations.

someone's asking, i render help.

plain jane, nothing hypocritical about it.

just suggesting Vday ideas that make for a night/day, worth remembering.

so what are your plans?

i plan to bake brownies.

of course, study too. (gee, i hope.)

communication issues on saturday and public relation on monday

sheesh, it's close to 3. i need to rush out.

london town

2008-02-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

i had a great saturday with yana and later ryaan.

we went about looking for hats and we had good drinks over a soul chat at greenlights.

it was nice bumping into people i used to date and seeing that they are as gorgeous as ever and happy.

good times, spinning a tale or two from all that eye-balling of passers-by.

well actually, i've had reasonably happy days and nights.

i'm pretty contented.

so today, i slapped on a whole new coat of red toenails, wore my favourite tee shirt ( my st marg's pe attire! ) and hung out at home for abit today, sang a song or two maybe.

i was hoping to study for exams but i failed miserably at that attempt.

like i always say,

since after O's, i forgot how to study for exams.

i missed those days i sit around and study at serene macs or studying/chiong-ing with sasa at her house on her tiny table while bsb music was playing in the background.

being home can swing my mood to a total 180.

from contented to grave-upset.

can this "home" be any less detrimental?

this unhappiness in this house is just

malignant.

you know...

let's not be cryptic today. let's be a sinister.

i could so dearly and gingerly kill the one person whom only in one way, i owe this life to.

i cannot take crying over something i cannot fix or run away from (at least not yet).

so i am biting my lips and looking at this.

the red wall

that i so frequently talk about.

it's what i come home to. it's what i wake up to.

and the only reason, i'm not doing shit to myself or my life.

see if you can spot yourself. it's poor quality.

(sorry, i was using the old panasonic camera cause the sony was out of batt)

god, there's still so, so, so many more people that needs to be up there.

please don't be offended if you are not up there.

trust me, you're pasted somewhere special too.

just thought you'd like to know/see how you keep me sane, sometimes.

now, let's just run away to london town?

v-day talk tomorrow.

the T

2008-02-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

3.30 am -

i just cannot sleep. kidd didn't want to get food in the end.

fai is sleeping, i hope he gets to.

(freaky he just called to rant! omg he called right after i typed that line. he wants to get pimped out on my blog...hmm)

yana, fir and shim all went offline.

i am texting naufal and syed almost concurrently, those nocturnal heads.

one seems to be texting me back cause he feels obliged to.

the other wants to take me to some hotel... there you go again.

now both officially stopped texting.

what the hell do i do.

i've got all these theories spinning in my head.

1) i wonder how some people do it. fster, myspace, facebook and what nots. why? having it all? having what? oh and online profiles that blast emo rock shit out and barely readable profiles! wtf really.

2) i dun get how gfs can delete their bf's friends? to what purpose?

3) how guys are just guys. they are just the same nonetheless. not talking about the anatomy. the few people whom i thought could prove me wrong, proved me right nonetheless.

4) that i don't know how am i going to survive another year living with the man i hate the most

5) how people are so so complicated

6) why i can do things which i still cannot comprehend

7) it's nice to know people cannot tell what's in my head and i just agree to their assumptions all the time while my head's spinning another web of comical gees and gahs.

8) its not that im a lousy liar, i just want to pique people's interest in something they should know but i dun want to throw at them. alternative yo.

9) i don't get it how i am somehow intricately weaved into someone's someone's friends. find me a funky loner to get to know. it's not that i've got a horrific past. just that, i don't trust as easily as a ho.

10) what's this issue about ethnicity selling. you gotta have a white face (include tall and skinny physique) to make it big on tv or anywhere for that matter?

11) just what is the world coming to.

god knows what number now. 13?) i am this flawed.

fuck.

I JUST WATCHED PRISON BREAK S03 E 11.

CAN THAT SHOW GET ANYMORE CRAZY!

SUSPENSE OVERLOAD. MAJOR LA.

so.

School is out, i'm just left with exams on the 16th and 18th.

thank god for that.

these past weeks have physically and mentally drained me in more ways than ever.

think like a turtle being made to run on a treadmill.

yar, like that!

What more with an overdose of fags, redbull and caffeine (nescafe yaw).

crazy school work, projects, magazine design and what nots.

and there's also the wars and fuck-ups at home.

and the penny-less and starving situations that do get pretty depressing, no matter how i try not to show it in my fat face.

(i don't get how my jeans are getting so, so loose yet my face is still so huge.)

for now, i can breathe a little easier now.

and i think im on a mojo-roll.

this is despite my umpteen plans for this holidays. i'll get down to it.

i need a job first. anything that pays above 6 bucks.

monday onwards i am going on an intensive job search.

i am so not making the same mistake i made last holidays.

it has caused me a treacherous semester.

i'm not suffering again on my fyp sem.

anyway.

happy chinese new year to those celebrating.

my new year today was pretty nice. the fat-ass wasn't around so less eyesores.

and...

it's been some time since the lil angel made an appearance here.

look, she's all grown up... walking soon.

nine months!

syira in her double-breasted, preppy red dress

she actually wore white tights but it tore by the third house.

those were the only oranges she could actually hold.

she's full of expression these days

anyway. in case you were wondering... here are some pages of the 20 page magazine that i was layout-ing, designing and proof-reading.

xoxo. will blog more often now.

oh im baking soon.

orders? requests?

isha and radzi are each getting a massive piece!

anti you.

2008-01-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.

kopi kopiak

2008-01-16T16:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RADZI!

Well anyway, here's today's mood-check.

but first,

1) i have almost finished 7 pages of the magazine.

2) i bumped into sasa who blinded me with the neon pink captions on her tee.

3) i have finished watching Gossip Girl.

4) L Word 5 and Prison Break Ep 9 is back, back, back.

5) i had coffee.

(this picture was seconds before i earned my massive ass-hip bruise. thanks for the reminder shashi, i am thrilled beyond words. simply had to post it for your immense pleasure.)

so, mood of the day.

OKAY NOT SCARED ALREADY.

HYPER NOW.

CAFFEINE HIGH.

TWO CANS OF NESCAFE...AND COUNTING.

(2 CANS FOR 2 DOLLARS.

THAT MAKES RED BULL SO, SO YESTERDAY)

PEACE.

more than you think.

2008-01-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

God, i am fucking scared.

danny's

2008-01-14T01:24:00.000+08:00

happy times!

dan's 19th on the 9th sure did kick start another year of happy celebrations for 2008!

prashant made reservations at Harry's, so we got our own cosy corner with helium balloons, a cute long, happy birthday poster and of course, great company!

bunch of pictures from the night at dempsey hill...

his lil cigar.

mona and timmy!

happy people!

i was telling dan to clap along!

shant and dan.

this picture so cute!

okay just fooling around.

no more miss piggy!

here comes the cake!

REVERSO ICE CREAM CAKE!

we SAWED through the cake, thanks TIM!

more happy people!

hungry people!

the boy with the "C" curls.

kim enjoying cake!

mona too!

wee!

double wee!

candid!

balloons' flight to eternity. lol.

and POLAROIDS!

lil sis has been in the hospital since friday, i hope she get discharged soon.

she's getting better now.

hospital trips are taxing and draining.

ps- think my hair is looking better, the longer it gets. but i hear john calling already!

loves.

rockstar's 19th

2008-01-09T14:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DANIAAL FARIS ADAM!

rock out on your nineteeth dude.

so here's to you.

you know you love me.

tell and show

2008-01-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

here is the fucked up story of Web design with Ahsan.

(he's balding by the way.)

he speaks a lill funny, like saying Veb D instead of Web D.

gah.

i think everyone gets pretty darn bored in web design class. the lecturer is a dull man. he's not mean or anything, he is generally nice, but i think he can definitely UP the entertainment factor in class.

but here's what i have done.

i just thought i'd show off my greatest accomplishment in this module. haha. GREATEST.

i completed the first assignment on my own with some help here and there from course mates. ten working html pages on my own!

applause please!

it's not too bad.

i did a journey of the disco era, and i called it.

DISCO DELIVERY: A Psychedelic Journey

index page

created the blinking nav bar and web banner all myself know!

behold the look of the template and stuff.

oh and there's disco music too!

and of course other effects on the webbie too.

i hope i'm not boring you already. here's what we did/learnt today. 3 hour class from 8am.

no longer learning macromedia dreamweaver, now its flash.

creating a ball.

drawing faces.

inverting text and taking out the fill.

up over down and hit buttons/symbols. idk.

blinking flower, now you see it now you don't kind.

cool right.

and the only thing that i think i liked making today was this scrollie with up and down buttons.

didn't think mass comm would get this dry would it?

apart from this, i'm reading about war, propaganda and politics for another module.

end of the day, nothing about school seems exciting anymore, except radio and everything else that involves photoshop.

honestly, i oddly love/hate this course still.

so i baked a second tray of cookies and made deliveries to quite a few people.

sorry, i didn't have enough cash to bake more. you'd have a bigger piece if i could bake more.

pinky promise, when i get back to work, i'll give everyone bigger pieces.

i had a great time decorating the tiny tupperware. pretty aye?

there we go!

with that, show and tell is over.

thank you.

regular order.

2008-01-02T01:50:00.000+08:00

i have come to believe that the only place where i actually have personal time and personal space is the library. sad aye?

here, i'm really undisturbed.

it's not everyday that some mat whips up a crazy pick up line like,

adik saya baru potong botak, kalau saya nak kenal2 dengan awak boleh tak?

(translation: my lil bro/sis has just cut botak, would it be okay if i get to know you?)

(the mat was trying to rhyme in malay, fyi)

that line consequently, doesn't get him my number, but a fit of horrid laughter.

i think i am pretty okay if you just say,

Hi, i'm ________. You've got great hair. (bla bla bla)

come to think about it, i think airie said that to me on fster.

thing is, anything not too cocky is perfectly fine by me.

guys, kindly take note.

i think i share similar sentiments with other decent girls.

so back to the library, call me a nerd, geek or whatever you wish, but i feel serene. i'm sitting on a table, mild air con in the atmosphere, an electrical outlet and the mac.

the best companions one can ever ask for, they don't ever talk back.

this silent noise is nauseatingly calming in comparison to the rest of my days.

it's here or the extreme wee hours of the night at home, where i scour through the almighty world wide web about universities, artworks, photography, places i read in books and anything to feed my curious fancies. gah. why am i inserting this boring fact in here? god knows.

john is crooning about another chapter of his life with the song, No Such Thing.

john! there is such a thing! believe me!

i could fall in love all over with john mayer and every melody and lyric that he belts out.

come to singapore please.

john's saying,

i wanna run through the halls of my high school, i wanna scream at the top of my lungs

i just found out there's no such thing as a real world

just a lie that got to rise above

so the good boy and girls take the so called right track

faded white hats, grabbing credits and maybe transfers

they read all the books but they can't find the answers

and all of our parents, they're getting older

i wonder if they've wished for anything better

while in their memories, tiny tragedies

they love to tell you, stay inside the lines

but something's better, on the other side

yes john, the other side.

now, i'm just looking around the net for a way to put a previous entries tag on this blog of mine... and i have just discovered that blogger beta does not have it. they overlooked it, but gave another feed as consolation to that problem.

quite an odd discovery.

instead i decided to fix up this blog a lil, i've neaten up the archive and blog links with a scrollie, fixed a title tag and changed the picture. minor changes for o eight.

i'm pretty contented with the simplicity of this blog, hence i have no plans to change the layout much or colours or whateff. gee, tadaaa?

someone had to bring a lil cheer to the people at home.

its the new year aye. dug out some cash here and there, and here's old fashion brownie.

old is always better.

baked this.

therapeutic baking.

gobbled up in 2 days!

now just some randoms from christmas at vicka's. she wrote me a card with really kind words.

makes me grateful, if there's one blessing that's showered onto me.

it's you guys.

friends, close or distant.

blessings nonetheless.

they are the cutest siblings i have ever known. Only a year apart from the other and definitely close.

ila started school today. primary one. gosh, too soon. she's really an annoying, bugger whom sometimes i wish hadn't existed in my life. i am still the jealous older sister. but it not her fault at all she's here and she has her history. seeing her go to school today, got me feeling tingly weird. god.

wow, quite lengthy.

bum aches.

Im getting fat, flab jiggles.

oh now, john's singing,

i'm invincible as long as i'm alive.

john's my new friend. say hi to john mayer people.

o eight

2007-12-31T21:00:00.001+08:00

just a quick one before i am out of this hell house.

(shashi's place better have good food, or we'll try our luck again at $10 000...

or, i'll run to kidd's.)

(i kid, i kid, i bet you are reading this before new year)

Happy Happy New Year!

Let's hope for a good year, more laughs, more kachings and less mess.

yes?

bring it on,

O eight.

God Bless

3.15 pm, 1st January 2008.

thanks for the butt bruise guys, i can barely sit down without writhing and ah-ing.

pulling the chair was the best way to ring in the new year aye.

i so love you.

headache ah, but i've deleted what you told me to and i am announcing it here,

cause apparently it soothes the butt aches.

now, happy new year you satisfied assholes.

christmas 07

2007-12-25T17:55:00.000+08:00

have yourself a merry little christmas!

i had a good family get-together with the extended family last night.

after such a long time!

good food, good laughs, good time,

like the ol' days

i broke tradition today just cause i am broke. every year during this time of the year, i'd jump into the festivity and whip up some cookies/cream puffs for the family and lunch/dinner invites.

still feels rather odd though.

but then again, rough days, rough moods.

St. Marg's 4E3 reunion

class used to comprise of 2 type of girls, the noisy-naughty yet smart and the smart-geeky yet nice. (no treats for guessing which type i am!) it felt kind of odd reuniting and having dinner together at swens. the table was pretty divided into school cliques.

nonetheless, it was nice seeing everyone, everyone looks the same and laughs the same!

just that our lives don't collide the way it used to.

melissa the insanely hyperati, me, jessica the sia girl, yuwen the cutey, clara the demure, thara the funny, xiaoyan the sexy mousey, jolene the tany lady

the bestest buddy one can ever ask for.

happy people.

before good byes.

and i almost forget, sneak peaky of the other half of 4E3

for the fun of things, view

the ultimate bimbo....

loves.

you still asked, what i want from there? when you knew the answer was you.

somehow if you could, make life a little easier for me. less tears for a start maybe?

it's been over 8 months since you left and it's been 7 months lost...those abandoned dreams.

it hurts.

bronze.

2007-12-20T17:00:00.000+08:00

(grrr. i screwed up the pictures! i didn't notice the size was accidentally set to LARGE. err.. hurray hurrah for the myopics and srewed eyeballs.)

JUST HAPPY!

i've been such a lazy ass, so pardon me for my absence.

been practicing the ways of a cheap gallivant.

(if you know what i mean!)

but i've got endless things to blog about and pictures, of course.

1) baby imran is recovering. he's not allowed to have visitors at home cause he's still very vulnerable to infections. nonetheless, i will blog again when i get the chance to see him. and, thank you once more, for your prayers.

2) i've been rather busy with school, story books, friends (puky sleepovers!), sleep disorders and mood swings. (just weeks back i was a pathetic, pissy, cry-baby. hormones, u think? no, i was just going through family crises and the soul crumbled. they say even the strong, takes a tumble. my thank you-s, to those who tolerated my sarcasm and abusiveness.)

these past months, i have gotten in and out of weird relationships, forged new relationships, neglected some, backed away from some, seen truth in some and of course, broken some, but ultimately, i'm happy.

(it's like there's this light hearted fuzzy wuzzy feeling seething in my veins.)

right now, i think my mind is set on starting the year right, not making resolutions this time.

cause this year, i didn't manage to achieve a few, just cause of family fuck-ups. as much as it is very depressing when i think about it,

thus,

goodbye 2007 already.

hello 2008, time to get this life prancing.

(i am feeling very, very resolute these days.)

After this entry, expect a st marg's 4E3 reunion entry (pictures please sasa!) and then a final 2007 entry (think this will be majooorrrr! got plans to draw up.)

but first,

(the radio proximity principle!)

zoukout 2008, my first.

it was an extremely long yet awesome night of fab music, dancing and frolicking, with the best company i could have ever asked for. in attendance: yana, airie, abu and faisal and the endless friend we met there.

so here's some raw pictures. (so pardon the heavy contrast!)

pre zoukout: looking very very unglam at the hotel.

okay girls transformed!

okay boys (err.) transformed!

in the cab.

in the sky train. spot!

met debbie khoo.

two favourite people in the world.

i spy somethings sizzling.

debb with her all-time favourite kissy pose.

pimp one.

pimp two.

tagged!

fir, rocking the dreads.

the fun.

rei love and funky joyce!

the adorable michelin.

it's been 2 and a half months since we took baby syirah in. look how much she's grown. she's a shiloh baby, meaning her mouth and lips are always open like that!

ps- i am queen. i have updated myself with gossip girl ep 10, heroes season 2, prison break ep 8. time to move on to weeds and the truck load of movies in the hd.

as always love,

selamat aidiladha.

and in case i don't blog in time, merry christmas and happy holidays.

baby.

2007-11-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

baby imran is at home now and recovering.

thank you.

13/12/07

__________________________________________________________

the lil one went through a second operation a few days ago -

not for the heart.

but for his balls this time. something about because it was swollen and he couldn't stop crying.

i have yet to comprehend things.

nonetheless, prayers?

06/12/07

______________________________________________________

baby imran is recovering very, very well. he is off tubes and walking to everyone's surprise.

so, thank you for answered prayers.

02/12/07

____________________________________________________

baby imran is in the ICU ward right now after surgery, will you keep praying for him? *

29/11/07

_________________________________________________________

baby imran has a hole in his heart and tmr he will be admitted for heart surgery.

he is one and half years and he is barely 7 kg.

his parents doesn't want him.

pray for him will you?

please.

scared lor.

2007-11-21T11:37:00.000+08:00

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO LOOK.

help me out a little here. pretty please.

(P.K.Raj - Sabrina, Charmaine, Najmah and Peter)

fyi: i&e lar, we had to make the night marathon short to a 6-10.30 pm due to unforseen bs.

vultures.

2007-11-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

i once said that i don't want to have a reason to get mad at you. but i found reasons. seriously, if you are practising oblivion, then i offer my gravious thank-yous, for doing what you do best. do you just not know that you have not asked me how i am for real in days, my ears can't keep listening for long. so, please.

sexy left.
i had the longest telephone conversations with sexy since he left in april. 2 hours 35 minutes 13 seconds. i needed him more than ever last night.. fuck the bills. i cried half the time telling him about everything from family, finances, school, lizards, work, friends, relationships, dates, dreams and even about the tiny black ants that keeps appearing on my table. and i swear (by moons and stars) i heard him hush his sniffles when he told me how he'd wish he could have been there. he made me feel that i was going to be okay, for a little while after.
god answered my prayers, he made you so happy there.

the randoms.

1) i saw irwansyah and acha septriasa in person, walking past on the streets of orchard road. they looked lovely together.

2) school has been usual. with random outburts like these caught. i figured the radio magazine stress was getting to everyone and look at these two, adam and time in the production suite. and there's also nigel and ivan, who joined in to dp some harmonizing later. wished i had a video of it, it would be fun-ner and funny-er.

3) been hanging out with yana and the girls most days. let's just say, in times like these, a girl's company is just necessary. even gayboys can't beat it.

4) gossip girl (up to date), prison break 3 (up to date, episode 9 will only be shown on 14th Jan! now, i would have to wait. ) and soon heroes! for that, i love the internet.

5) ila turned 6th on friday and we threw her a big party at home on saturday. think endless guests, kids, huge 2 kg cake, goodies, sweets, food, lucky draw, banners... and an endless pit of gifts for the little princess.
plus, there were so many foster kids who came too. very meaningful day.
pictures galore.

6) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONA! have a blessed celebration!

7) should i go for the walk-in interview?

8) i have something growing under my eye and i don't know what it is. i've been reading on the net about styes, cysts, molls and chalazions. god, makes me fucking scared to get it checked.

9) i'm going to hound my mum this week to settle their long awaited debts though they are being stupidly-resistant to someone deserving.

10) i wish i was born rich right now. / i wish i found a place where i could cry these sorrows away.

ps- nat, i'm thinking of you here. always.

belief

2007-11-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

it is he who sings to souls.

is there anyone who ever remembers
changing their mind from the paint on a sign?
is there anyone who really recalls
ever breaking rank at all
for something someone yelled real loud one time?
oh, everyone believes
in how they think it oughta be
oh, everyone believes
and they're not going easily

belief is a beautiful armor
but makes for the heaviest sword
like punching underwater
you never can hit who you're trying for
some need the exhibition
and some have to know they tried
it's the chemical weapon
for the war that's raging on inside
oh, everyone believes
from emptiness to everything
oh, everyone believes
and no one's going quietly

we're never gonna win the world
we're never gonna stop the war
we're never gonna beat this
if belief is what we're fighting for

is there anyone you can remember
ever surrender with their life on the line?

what puts a hundred thousand children in the sand?
belief can, belief can
what puts a folded flag inside his mother's hand?
belief can, belief can

today.

2007-11-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

TODAY....

1) i found the perfect jacket to splurge on soon..
2) i finally officially met someone i have only chatted with for the past 4/5 year.
3) i love Yana to death la, you just make me happy.
4) i am on a roll about catching up with prison break season 3.
5) i plan to catch up on heroes season 2.
6) i have learnt a thing a thing or two about sincerity from the weirdest circumstance.

and i am grooving to john mayer's, why georgia.

"So what so i've got a smile on
But its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head."

i just cannot be happier today. therefore you can see this damn ugly picture of me; all smiley like a pink baboon.

and. this is just too cute. i am a massive spice girls fan.

so, to those, broken hearts, dismayed souls and distanced beings,
i hope things take a better turn somehow, sometime.
really.

radar.

2007-11-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

edginess is a rush.

randoms.
1) hokkien mee craving satisfied.
2) met and hung out with friends, ai, fai, yana, erny and of course, mel
3) i am addicted to gossip girl
4) so tempted to curl my hair, just thought you should know.
5) i have completed reading the alchemist.

mixxy-unhappy days forseen.

ps. pictures soon.

xoxo